obama’s informercial! as seen on tv! but wait! there’s more!

did anyone notice the first woman’s familys’ “snacks?” she opened the fridge and started pointing out everyone’s shelves. that shit consisted of a dozen eggs, smuckers grape jam and a bottle of tapatio. i guess times is rough! “mom, can i have a smuckers and tapatio sandwich?” “no you have to make it last a week!”

and that couple with the rheumatoid arthritis…i was alright until i saw the man, who had to crawl out of retirement to make ends meet for his gnarled-paw wife, pin on a walmart nametag. it broke my heart like seeing someone kick a dog. you can vow to be as loving as humanly possible to every animal you meet from that point on but people still kick dogs and now you know it.

honestly, i was a bit put off at this cast of characters. i didn’t make beef top ramen, microwave two egg rolls and crack a tsing tao for mortals, you know.

right after the infomercial i switched to msnbc for live coverage of the obama/clinton rally in florida. one of the highlights of his speech was the comment about doctors, nurses, teachers and firefighters doing well. when they do well, we all do well. he got that from bill. and i couldn’t agree more.

i used to scan financial programs for a living. something that always struck me as scary were the quarterly profits. they would always go something like:

[INSERT LARGE COMPANY HERE] fell short of analysts’ expectations for the third quarter by [INSERT RIDICULOUSLY LOW NUMBER THAT BASICALLY AMOUNTS TO 2 FUCKING CENTS A SHARE HERE] percent. [LARGE COMPANY] has stated they will cut [INSERT SIGNIFICANT AMOUNT HERE] jobs.

now, let’s just say this company was…intel. intel’s mythical shareholders are fucking pissed because they lost 2 cents a share this quarter. shareholders are like reverse lobbyists in this way. political action committees give money and expect results. shareholders lose money and expect results. so intel announces it’s gonna cut 1,500 jobs.

this happens over and over again. it grows exponentially. because the more people who lose their jobs or see their pensions revoked, the less they will spend. and a company like intel depends on consumers purchasing the computers that contain their processors. they are now contributing to their own future shoddy earnings that in turn will prompt them to cut more jobs/costs because their fucking shareholders are spoiled, demanding little brats. and when things get shitty enough (as they’ve been lately), those shareholders will just start selling their stock. they will finally experience the fear and uncertainty that have been plaguing the workforce all along.

i believe “top heavy” is a far more accurate description than “trickle down.” catering to the investor class does not work. even when times are good, they do not give back. this theory can now be laid to rest. under the wise tutellage of bush, we metaphorically wrote it a blank check, and now we are writing it an even bigger fucking actual check. something like $700 billion, an amount so large it’s basically imaginary. fucking awesome.

after the rally tonight, tom delay basically called obama a socialist and a communist. first of all, i’ll refrain from ridiculing his credibility (and by doing so, smugly allude to his lack of credibility). but anyway, even if obama was a socialist, what’s the alternative? things go the way they are and we’ll be looking at something far worse. like bread lines and riots and angry proletariat uprisings. i prefer the term interventionist.

SNL mock michelle obama?

http://wnd.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=78921

Pat Buchanan wonders, what if SNL mocked Michelle Obama? Why haven’t they? A reverse racist liberal media conspiracy, perhaps?

why on earth’s name would SNL mock michelle obama? as far as i know, she hasn’t done anything stupid or ridiculous yet. she hasn’t spent $150,000 on clothing and makeup (in fact, she’s rocked H&M- a huge plus in my book). she hasn’t misquoted and/or misunderstood a myriad of facts on a national platform. she hasn’t tried to can elected officials on behalf of scorned family members. she hasn’t charged the state of illinois for nights spent at home.

the list of things worthy of mockery michelle obama has not done will continue when palin gets her own show on fox news and michelle becomes a quietly dignified first lady and role model.

as far as i know, michelle obama has been an associate at a top-tier law firm, broken fundraising records as executive director of a non-profit, and scaled back on promising administrative positions to be a mother. after she worked/scholarshipped her way through princeton and harvard.

alright i admit that was the readers’ digest condensed version. she’s also articulate, likeable, warm, and possesses awesome politico-wife fashion sense (sorry, but i will just never get over that H&M dress. that store makes me dizzy with anticipation of sensible yet hipsteresque nights on the town. i mean, have you seen their like, 70 jackets for fall? jaysus).

so, pat buchanan…what exactly should SNL mock michelle obama for? my friend, you are an ambulance chaser.

yes on 8 resorts to extortion

http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5hZmLBrL36NObNyMR0ghXN7vB5hYwD940GN1G0

Leaders of the campaign to outlaw same-sex marriage in California made an offer to businesses that have given money to the state’s largest gay-rights group: Give us money or we’ll publicly identify you as opponents of traditional unions.

Certified letters from the group this week asked companies to withdraw their support of Equality California, a nonprofit organization that is helping lead the campaign against Proposition 8.

“Make a donation of a like amount to ProtectMarriage.com which will help us correct this error,” reads the letter. “Were you to elect not to donate comparably, it would be a clear indication that you are in opposition to traditional marriage. … The names of any companies and organizations that choose not to donate in like manner to ProtectMarriage.com but have given to Equality California will be published.”

This is utter insanity. I love how they write, “it would be a clear indication that you are in opposition to traditional marriage.” Uh yeah, fucking DUH. That’s typically what happens during elections: people donate to and vote for the things they support, and they do not donate to nor vote for the things they are against.

Why so desperate? There are more than enough feebleminded rubes who will be at the polls on November 4th, ready to radically alter the progression of civil rights based on a fable about a man and a woman in a garden with a talking snake. Perhaps Protect Marriage got wind of the $10 donation I made to Equality California on Tuesday.

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