Archive for February, 2009

Armstrong’s bike recovered

Damnit. This just in from the Sacramento Bee:

Sacramento police announced this afternoon that Lance Armstrong’s stolen time-trial bicycle valued at $10,000 has been recovered — and Armstrong thanked the police department for its help minutes after finishing the Clovis leg of the Amgen Tour of California.

A local resident brought the bike into Sacramento Police headquarters on Freeport Boulevard at about 10:35 a.m. Wednesday, police said in a news release.

I guess that means a local did it after all? No. I refuse to believe that. I think this person heroically wrestled it out of the tights of one of the visting Europeans. He has been recovering quietly at home since then. It wasn’t until today he had the strength to get that bike back. Ohhhhh man. Big frownie face here. Thanks Sacramento. For the first time probably ever, I was rooting for you.


oh, pleasanton!

From Mercury News:

“Senator Joe Simitian: Your cell phone law sucks.”

That’s the blunt message on a large billboard off Highway 101 south of the IKEA store in East Palo Alto. It was paid for by Grant Paulson of Pleasanton, who despises California’s hands-free cell phone law, authored by Simitian and in place since last summer.

… Paulson, 47, said Tuesday he doesn’t like the cell phone law because he finds it hard to hear calls on hands-free devices and he considers the rule an attack on personal freedoms.

“All I want is to have a choice,” said Paulson, president of GP Fire Protection, a company that installs fire sprinklers.

…”I’m just tired of having my personal freedoms taken away,” he wrote in the reader comments on a story on NBC Bay Area’s Web site. “Used to (be) able to ride a motorcycle without a helmet, ride in the back of a pickup, not wear a seat belt, ride a bike when a kid without a helmet, etc. Where does it stop and what’s next? Helmet laws to ride in a convertible because that would be safer?”

Good gravy. I love how his idea of freedom is being able to engage in an activity that puts everyone else around him at risk. Let them eat cake!

I also like how he is el presidente of a company that installs fire sprinklers. Does anyone else find that a bit ironic? How many people who have been forced to hire his company to install those things have grumbled about it? And all he cares about is how it’s hard to hear. Oh, Pleasanton. The rolling, gentle green hillsides of upper-middle class privilege tend to make the natives a bit stir crazy.

Lance Armstrong’s bike

From CBS13:

Residents are mortified after Lance Armstrong’s time trial bike was stolen in Sacramento, and the famous cyclist is turning to the internet to track down his one-of-a-kind cycle, reports CBS station KOVR-TV in Sacramento.

“I’m a Sacramentan, and it’s very embarrassing and very disappointing,” said Katie Newell.

The Sacramento Police Department has been fielding calls ever since news of the theft made international headlines. “We got calls from as far away as France and the UK,” said Sacramento Police spokesman Konrad Von Shoech.

So it was stolen in Sacramento. But am I the only person who thinks this crime might have been committed by a non-local? Do you know how many obvious out-of-towners were here on Saturday? The SJ Mercury news did a piece on people traveling from all over the country to see Lancey Pants in the flesh. I can and will also personally verify this: there were more European guys in tights in downtown Sac than I have ever seen in one place. While a bike is much harder to conceal, these men are known grape smugglers, a fact I don’t think should be ignored. Leave no stone unturned! I will investigate them myself!

Not only that, but getting your hands on Lance Armstrong’s bike is probably something of a coup de grace, a feat not to be taken likely. Sacramento bike thieves are more garden variety, crackheads-with-garden-shears type. The whole freaking world knew where Lance Armstrong’s bike was that day.

I didn’t know ADD was THAT kind of disability!

Alright we all know she’s a wingnut. But is anyone else seeing major cracks in the story? At first she just seemed like a sincere wingnut, but now I’m thinking that her puffy-lipped, poker-faced maternal glow is playing us for the fool.

Nadya Suleman: One of my children was tested as ADHD, which is extremely prevalent. In regard to my other child, that child was experiencing mild – mild speech delay. And maybe tiny characteristics of autism as well.

She’s receiving disability payments for all three.

Nadya Suleman: It is temporary. Only one will be on it for awhile. The others most likely – hopefully will be off of it within a few months.

I was not aware you could receive disability for having ADD, and I was definitely not aware a child under seven years old could be recieving it. Do kids under seven even have ADD? Why would you “hopefully” be off of something like that? That’s like saying you are “hopefully” going to be off of a program that pays you $1 every time your baby craps in it’s diaper. There’s no way you’re going off of that, because you are magically receiving benefits out of something your kid is going to do/be anyway. There is nothing sincerely temporary about someone who is willing to accept public assistance because their young child may or may not have a slight learning disability that may or may not affect their kindergarten playtime (at best, she could be claiming the two year old has ADD for all we know).

Ann Curry: You’re saying that you’re going to use student loans to help raise your children.

Nadya Suleman: Temporarily. Temporarily.

Ann Curry: Do you have any way of paying back these loans?

Nadya Suleman: Yes, when I work, when I’m working.

Ann Curry: How is that not like welfare?

Nadya Suleman: Oh no. These are student loans. You consolidate the loans, you pay it back. We don’t pay back welfare.

It might be a while before Nadya pays back her loans, which she’s already spent.

Don’t you um, need to go to school to get student loans? And don’t you need uh, time to go to school?

I’m really calling bullshit on this woman. Not batshit crazy, but malevolent, for real bad lady kind of shit.

(Transcript of whole thing can be found here)

you can’t be anti-octuplet AND pro-life

The thousands upon thousands of internet comments eschewing the inevitable cost of a litter to taxpayers really annoys me. While I agree with that particular point of view, I can’t help but wonder how many of those people are against abortion. Some of the comments are tinged with that certain anti-welfare, anti-“public dole” je ne sais quoi that whispers “Psssh! My wife home schools our kids, we believe global warming is a myth and most of all we PRO-MOTHERFUCKING-LIFE.”

Soooooo let me get this straight: you are totally stoked on forcing an unprepared, single woman into having one or two children YOU will end up supporting, but you’re totally bummed on some other chick having 14 by choice?

Fuck, at least I’m consistent. I think Suleman is batshit crazy and must be stopped, I hate her 14 kids already and I wish more people would have abortions. Consistent with the attitude of: I don’t wanna pay for your dumb shit.