Propositions: A Voters Guide or Voters! A Proposition Guide

People keep asking me how I am going to vote on the propositions. Did you know in Nevada they call them “state questions?” Isn’t that quaint?

1a – SAFE, RELIABLE HIGH-SPEED PASSENGER TRAIN BOND ACT. Jenn Wu changed my mind on this one with her comparison to BART. While people were skeptical, I cannot imagine a Bay Area without BART. It continues to efficiently transport and suck tax dollars out of us to this day.

2 – STANDARDS FOR CONFINING FARM ANIMALS. INITIATIVE STATUTE. At first I was going to vote no because I don’t like the idea of animals being abused in another state any more than I like the idea of them being abused here. I also feel that since consumers are free to buy any eggs they wish, they don’t really care, so why mandate it? But last week I realized that I simply cannot in good conscience vote against anything that tries to improve conditions for production animals. Through highly efficient suffering, animals bear the weight of what I consider articially low prices for shit like eggs anyway. The people that work in these industries do as well. I know this does nothing to prevent exploitation-eggs from being shipped in from elsewhere. I still don’t care. Just gonna vote with my heart. It happens to the best of us.

3 – CHILDREN’S HOSPITAL BOND ACT. GRANT PROGRAM. INITIATIVE STATUTE. There are too many children in this state who wouldn’t even have access to these hospitals because they lack sufficient healthcare. What kind of kid gets to go to a state of the art facility with the latest technology when they are very sick? A kid whose parents have excellent health benefits. No thanks. They can just continue going to Stanford or UCLA or UCSF for now. Till we figure this out.

4 – WAITING PERIOD AND PARENTAL NOTIFICATION BEFORE TERMINATION OF MINOR’S PREGNANCY. INITIATIVE CONSTITUTIONAL AMENDMENT. Unlike the last 50,000 times this has been on the ballot, it doesn’t demand parental consent anymore, which I suppose is more palatable to the masses. Obviously this gets a fatass no vote. The same group that opposed AB 1511 (a bill that funded informational materials for parents who need help discussing the birds & bees with their kids) last year on grounds that the government should not mandate familial communication is wholeheartedly behind this bill. Hypocrisy aside, what scares me the most is a murky statute of limitations to bring civil suite against doctors who violate the consent process. Smacks TRAP (Targeted Regulation of Abortion Providers) law, which is way more effective at stopping abortion than actually trying to stop abortion. Just regulate the shit out of providers and clinics, and open the door for massive malpractice suits and what do you get? Dramatically reduced access to abortion, which is the next best thing to making it illegal again.

5 – NONVIOLENT DRUG OFFENSES. SENTENCING, PAROLE AND REHABILITATION. INITIATIVE STATUTE. No. I absolutely will not stand for reducing parole for meth dealers. I fucking hate meth and tweakers! I’m not trying to create a conspiracy theory or anything, but where were Props 5 & 36 when there was an epidemic of crack dealers, who typically aren’t white people? Just sayin. I also don’t think that shitty outpatient, Prop 36 style rehab is all that effective for hardcore drug users. It sounds so hardline but people with addictions need to see real consequences before they stop. Our prisons are not overcrowded with your Mission friends who do coke on Wednesday nights, or your friend who got caught with a pipe in his car. Most nonviolent drug offenders do not go to jail on a first offense.

6 – POLICE AND LAW ENFORCEMENT FUNDING. CRIMINAL PENALTIES AND LAWS. INITIATIVE STATUTE. Never ever ever vote for anything that mandates spending! That is why we are in a budget crisis! Remember Prop 49, that alluring promise of after school programs? Well it mandated spending for them. And now we must spend $550 million a year on after school programs, no matter how much those same kids desperately need healthcare or textbooks or housing. We probably could’ve freed up some of that money for law enforcement in recent years, and then maybe they wouldn’t have to ask for a mandated spending formula of their own.

7 – RENEWABLE ENERGY GENERATION. INITIATIVE STATUTE. I’m staying away from this. I haven’t decided yet.

8 – ELIMINATES RIGHT OF SAME–SEX COUPLES TO MARRY. INITIATIVE CONSTITUTIONAL AMENDMENT. Duh!

9 – CRIMINAL JUSTICE SYSTEM. VICTIMS’ RIGHTS. PAROLE. INITIATIVE CONSTITUTIONAL AMENDMENT AND STATUTE. I’m not too knowledgeable on this subject, but apparently victims already have some say in the parole process. This just doesn’t seem to be a pressing matter and it will undoubtedly cost money so no.

10 – ALTERNATIVE FUEL VEHICLES AND RENEWABLE ENERGY. BONDS. INITIATIVE STATUTE. If T. Boone Pickens wants people to start driving cars that require fuel his company produces, he should write those rebate checks himself. Why the fuck do we have to pay for it and then buy his gas? Yuppies don’t need help buying hybrids. Besides, everybody in the know knows the coolest method of transportation is a bike. Give me a rebate on a bike, asshole. If only Clean Energy produced glucose and leg movement. We’d be subsidizing rebates on pedaling and walking right now.

11 – REDISTRICTING. INITIATIVE CONSTITUTIONAL AMENDMENT AND STATUTE. Thank you baby jesus. Next up is publicly financed campaigns.

12 – VETERANS’ BOND ACT OF 2008. There is already money available for stated purposes. It is unnecessary. Besides, if McCain wins, veterans will enjoy unprecedented government monies as he freezes spending in every other sector besides the military. Especially if your definition of “military” is “Blackwater.”

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